Election Fever

With TN Elections fast approaching, there is an apparent election fever everywhere. Already rumors are floating that the ‘two’ Political Biggies are trying to rope in the ‘two’ Tamil Cinema Biggies, for an whopping amount of 100 crores. Hopefully rumors should remain as rumors!! But it is still surprising that nobody has approached me still with any offer though I’m demanding only 99 crores :-)

As I do every time, this time too I have realized the social responsibility I should show in this regard. Though there are some Aunty-Social elements... err.. I mean anti-social elements, which would jump against me, I’m pretty adamant this time to do the needy. With millions of visitors checking my blog everyday, and that too most of them in their young 20s, its my pleasure to teach them what Elections are all about.

So here we go with a detailed FAQ on Elections!!


What is an Election?

An election is an annual game conducted by the Election Commission to identify individual talents in the field of Goli, Gilli, Kabadi and VettuKuthu. However, educated states like Kerala have decided to include Boxing and Karate nowadays.

Wow. So elections are conducted every year?

Not necessarily. They are also just another huge game like The Olympics, Cricket World Cup or the FIFA World Cup. So they are supposed to be conducted once in 4 years. However due to the huge popularity and high demand amidst the public nowadays they happen every year. In fact, some states like Bihar and Gujarat, which has huge fans following, conduct this game for twice or thrice a year.

What is a Political Party?

You know parties are always meant for fun. So Political Party is yet another party on the likes of ‘Birthday Party’, ‘Bachelor’s Party’ and ‘Drinks Party’. However don’t ever try to link this with Boston Tea Party.

Who is a candidate?

Well, as the name implies they come direct from School. They have IQ levels matching 1st or 2nd class municipal school students. English medium is a strict no-no.

Is there any eligibility for the candidature?

Though the EC (Election Commission) hasn’t fixed any norms for that, everybody has a general assumption with that. 25 Years of schooling, 10 Years of College, 7-8 years of Screen Presence (Regional language Cinema only) and 8-9 years of Jail Presence.

How about the age limit restriction?

The EC has never enforced any age limitations or restrictions. However when you look at the earlier question you’ll come to know you’ll become a politician only after age 50.

Interesting it is. How do I apply to join a party?

Well, each party has a principle they claim they have. You can find out each parties principle on the Internet even by making a simple search. But, Politicians and future politicians are strictly advised not to use Internet. So better find information manually visiting their offices.

I have found all the information, but I don’t know which party to join?

The rule is very simple. Research has proved over time that, the more the Party’s principle differ from your own, you stand a chance to become a successful politician.

You have raised all my interest. I want to start a new party. What do I do?

No don’t get excited. Starting a party is not as simple as you think. You have to find extremely talented candidates for the posts of President, Treasurer, Secretary, Advisor and PRO. And the most important thing is none of them should have a common interest.

I’m sure I’ll start a party. Is there any hard and fast rule for naming a party?

As far as Tamil Nadu is concerned, there is a universal rule that every party name should end only with MK, standing for ‘Munnetra Kazhagam’ in Tamil. But owing to the huge dispute in the pronouncement of letters ‘zha’ and ‘la’ in Tamil, all parties have now finally accepted to write it as ‘Munnetra Kalagam’ in English.

Can you suggest some name for my party?

Sure. All three-letter names starting from AMK to ZMK has already been taken. Some four-letter names are available but you need to extremely research on it and try various Permutation and Combinations to find out. I know these terms sounds alien to future politician like you. It applies to the people at the EC too. So better choose a name like ABCDMK or XYZMK.

No parties, no candidature. I’m a common man. Why should I vote?

These questions are tough to explain without examples. Let me say this... I’m an ardent fan of Sourav Ganguly and I want him to play for the Indian Cricket team. But, the Cricket Selectors never asked for my suggestion. But not in this game. You have a choice to select which players you want to see playing daily in the Assembly. Now say, you want to vote right?

What is the need for Election?

1-day Holiday.

What is this Ballot Paper?

They are just another paper like “The Deccan Chronicle” and “Tamil Murasu”. You can even compare this to Yellow pages directory. There will be huge advertisements and information on where you can purchase Mangoes, Lotus flower, Top (Bambaram in Tamil) etc.

But now I heard we have got Electronic voting machines replacing papers.

Yes, you are right. But so what, the purpose is same... you purchase Mangoes and Flowers electronically.

Can I openly disclose to public whom I have voted for?

Though not recommended you can always do. You will by default enter for the “Indian Bravery Awards” nomination, if at all you remain alive.

I already know all these things. Can you tell me something else useful?

Great. You should be a genius to know these things. Still, I have a suggestion. If you look at the top right corner of this window, there will be a small ‘X’ button. Move your mouse and click there once.

I’m a total follower of the current ruling party. However the opposition has used a glamorous Heroine to contest in my area, who is also my favorite. Can you advise?

Well, this is a tough decision to make. But personally I will *not* vote for the Heroine had I been there in the same situation. You see, Cinema is a serious thing but Politics and Elections are just a game. Also the current 50ish mock Hero will find it tough without this Heroine. Producers may lose all their money. Let her show her talent in Cinema alone.

I want to become the CM. I look dark, ugly and stout. My eyes are always red, as most of the time I’m angry with Kashmir terrorists and rest of the time I’m heavily drunk. Will people hate me?

Not at all. People never hate politicians. From the details I can also infer you will be from a Cinema background. Don’t confuse your mind on the red-eye thing. The success mantra is to wear a ‘black’ glass. To suit your style you may wear a black ‘Ray-ban’ cooler.


With this most of the FAQs are covered. It is not as tough as you think to answer these questions. I will also teach you the Thumb-Rule to deal with other questions you have in your mind, which I haven’t answered.

Don’t use you Common Sense when it comes to Politics. You’ll always be right !

Here and There...

Lotsa things happened the nice way today. I'm in a happy mood. Result... I did a post without any reason or topic.

If in case you want to know why I'm so happy..continue reading or else skip this paragraph!! Obviously one good reason is Indians have won again against England. Second, my CD Writer suddenly started working and my dead comp ran faster than usual :) . Tirelessy I burnt some 12 CDs. And the most happiest thing is, I found both the gifts my friends gave me on my b'day, which I misplaced somewhere - extremely satisfied. Plus, my sister and cousin sister are singing today at Tyaagaraja Aradhana Festival, Cleveland. And many more trivial things to add to the list.

Coming to the point, as against the 6 constituencies the Lok Paritrans were about to contest earlier within the Chennai City.. it has now increased to 8. They have got a nice coverage today on "The Hindu - Metro Plus". They look good and also speak good. Those who have missed the original interview can check it out here

Source : The Hindu

No doubt, I have reused the photo form The Hindu. But for a purpose. Now, look at the photo below. Does it strike some chord ? I'm sorry, we got ourselves photographed almost 2 months back :)

Coming to another point, the Aanjaneya Swamy temple, at Nanganallur celebrated the end of day celebrations of the Sri Raama Navami today. There was a special 'Perumal Purapaadu' arranged for the 'Utsava Moorthi'. Though at times I have felt agnostic, I can't even move my eyes out of the Lord today. Very well decorated. Lord Sri Rama & Co has always attracted my special attention.

Coming to the final point, guys and gals who are totally bored with the existing Coffee Shop outlets in and around Chennai, has a reason to cherish now. Though I have not visited this place, have seen it being reviewed on SS Music. So if you are tired of Coffee Day, visit Coffee Night. Hullo this is not a mokkai. Check out

Free Food :-)

For those of you who were thinking there exists some relationship between this post and the earlier one or the one before that, I'm sorry - You've got to check your diet :)

Totally pissed of with my current PC I have at home, I have never missed any occassion to have my hands on my father's Laptop. One fine morning I played too much with it and got my hands burnt, while digging around the Networking part of it. As anybody would do, and as exactly how you expected me to do... I turned it off immediately and silently left the place.

The Shock came the next day. I sat down that night to browse. As soon as the OS booted, a balloon appeared saying "Wireless Network Detected". Without hesitation I clicked on the baloon and saw a screen like this.

My eyes can't read anything apart from the "Connect" button. I never realized what happened after that. Eventhough my brain gave some order to read what the dialog says, my right hand gripped the mouse and moved by itself towards the 'Connect' button. (If you are wondering what my left hand did - it pressed the 'PrintScreen' button.) Now, the dialog disappeared... all, my eyes could read was another balloon which reads "Wireless Network Connected" !

Connection was just brilliant. Better effect than what my usual DataOne Broadband gives me. But people never get satisfied unless some Benchmarks prove it, and I'm no wonder an exception. Bandwidthplace came to my help with their SpeedTest. Oh! Man, I had the second shock of the day !

I know it may be too much hype.. but considering the fact this is free Internet and that too wireless :) , I have nothing to complain. The Notebook has 10/100 Mbps Wireless LAN support, but the fact that gave me two shocks is - it is behaving as though I'm in a hot-spot. I have no clue about who the ISP is and how and where do I get the signal from ? No Usernames... No Passwords... I login by a single-click. I went to bed happily. I never know, that the biggest shock is still pending !

Next day. After coming back home from work and after the dinner I silently switched it on. The Balloon appeared, but read "Wireless Network *not* Detected". I found the connection unreliable. 99% of the times, it doesn't connect... but 1% always give me hope. Even till date I can't figure out what is happening, but suddenly, luckily, sometimes the magic happens !!

Dinner @ Taj

It was a pleasent Saturday evening. Special plans were being made to arrange one of the Best Dinners of all time. S was running busy for the 'cake'. Another S was assisting B over the kitchen with ample support from V. While the other V was making special arrangements over the look and feel of the place, the ambience etc.

My cell phone rang. (Tring Tring..). I picked immediately. S was holding the other end.

S : Hey, I want you to be here as quick as possible.

Me : Okay..45 mins. My travel to that place will take that time. Hmm..Will somebody pick me up at the station ?

S : (After a pause, and some low voice discussion) Fine. V will be there. C u soon (The call ended, before even i could ask how is it going !)

I was 10 mins late than promised. V was exact on time to pick me up. The moment I stepped in, I realized things were being done above expectations !! These were some of the samples I saw..

Both the S's now appeared for a moment amidst their busy work and excalimed :

"We believe, we may run short of time. Just sync up with V for your work and make it fast".

Me : Okay will do. But..but..the Audio ?

(Both of them replied) : All set to rock :) ! We finalized what u said.

Me : Hmm. good. Thanks :)

Myself and V now started working on the most interesting part. The entire party is set to happen on candle lights. We decorated the place with candle stands on equal intervals. Some of them hanging out with whatever support available. Half an hour passed. We switched off all artificial lights and lit the candles alone for a demo-run. Wow !! Everybody screamed in unison. We lit only 1/3rd of the existing candles, being a demo. Certainly the whole lighting will be lot better. Everybody seems convinced.

We called the special guests of the evening on their mobile. They will reach on 15 more mins. Took rest for 5 mins, and now started lighting all the candles. Good Heavens !. It looked extra-ordinary. With everything set, we turned on all artificial lights back again, so that the guests won't have a clue when they see from outside.

2 mins passed. The car arrived. The 'Special Guests' got down. B and V were inviting them. Hand-shakes exchanged. Just when they were about to enter, everyone did what we are supposed to do. S turned off the corridor and the entryway lights. I put off the party hall lights. Other S turned on the Audio System which will start in a second or two.

The Guests were confused for a moment when they stepped in. The entire place suddenly shimmered with natural candle lights. They were surprised with the change, and a sudden cake that appeared in front of them. Just as they begin to realize what was happening, the song played "Endrendrum punnagai..Mudivilaa punnagai"

They cut the special home made cake. (Oh! ennuyireay, oh oh ! ennuyireay). Huge claps turned the whole place upside down !

Dinner followed after some talking. From the Soups to Icecreams everything was served with choices. From Tomato/Veg Clear Soup to Strawberry/ButterScotch Icecreams to be specific.

S and S made the day. They are the daughters of B and V (the V who did candle decorations). B and V are my chithi and chitappa. The other V is S's friend.

For those who are still trying to find where it happened and who the 'Special Guests' are... very simple, read my previous post :)